Sunday, March 09, 2014

What They're Saying #1

My return to blogging has been a long time coming but this post and this one were part of what made me actually begin.  I've spent a lot of time thinking about what it means to be a modern woman who prefers to dress in fashions of another time and I want to get more into that but the posts also highlight an aspect of dressing differently that fascinates me.  Total strangers approach me all the time and say all sorts of things.   Mostly nice, but I do get strange remarks and bizarre reactions.  I've just been made aware of Cosplay is NOT Consent which to me is a similar situation.  A person's clothing is never an invitation to harassment or rudeness. I want to share some of the remarks and reactions I've encountered due to my style of dress.  Some bother me and some are just amusing.
I've noticed hats seem to elicit comment.

Today I'm going to highlight this remark:
                                            "You were born in the wrong era!"
Okay  . . .  As near as I can recall my response was something along the lines of "Uh,No, I wasn't"  This comment came from someone I know but not  very well so I neither wanted to get into the intricacies of all I found wrong with the comment or say something curt and rude.

I don't believe this comment was meant unkindly or as an insult but then what we intend isn't always what the listener hears.  This was also early in my adoption of vintage style and perhaps the person who said it felt she had to comment on my new look but wasn't sure how to react - which I get a lot.  Some people just don't know how to deal with anything different.

That said there are several things wrong with this remark.  It assumes that because I like the fashion of another era I must like all other aspects of said era.  This is like saying "You love pasta, you should move to Italy!"  Italy is more than pasta and the past is more than a dress or hairstyle. (BTW I am not meaning to slam Italy here - I love the Italy. I'm not so keen on pasta though.)   It implies either she or I are naive and unaware of the realities of history.  That I long for a "simpler time" that never was (I don't) or that I'm okay with McCarthyism, polio, institutionalized sexism/racism, and so on as long as I get to wear a hat and gloves (I'm not).  I am well aware now is not perfect or necessarily superior to any other era but it is my time.

The past is a place I like to visit but I know I could never live there.  So, no, I wasn't born in the wrong era.

Or as my friend put it when I told her about this remark: I like having rights.

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