In the latest issue of Bitch magazine is the article "What Happened to Home Economics? : The Rise and Fall of a Contested Discipline" by Christen McCurdy. After reading it I started thinking about my own perceptions about such classes and the skills they teach.
I never took any class called "Home Economics" or anything that taught me domestic skills of any kind. I'm certain these kinds of classes were offered but despite my interest in the skills they would have taught I never even considered taking such a class.
In my younger days I am certain I was guilty of spouting some narrow minded and derisive remarks about Home EC. At the time I had the desire to move myself as far away from the sphere of wife and mother as possible. I didn't know for certain what I wanted to be but I knew I wasn't going to marry, have kids, and keep house. Not for me.
It would be a funny story to conclude with "I am now a happy wife and mother of three". Except I'm not but I have changed a lot since then. I realized my negative attitudes towards traditionally feminine roles and skills were doing no one, male or female, any favors. It was narrow minded of me to be so negative towards something simply because I didn't think it was for me. It also wasn't in the least feminist. Parenting is one of the toughest jobs out there and I have great respect for those who show up and try. Running a house is no less difficult than running a business and I understand that now. I certainly would never make snarky remarks about a woman or man choosing family over career.
And yet . . .
While I would never make fun of or mock others' domestic skills I often downplay or joke about my own. It might have to do with the societal pressure ( which comes down much harder on women) to remain humble. I also may be a version of Groucho Marx's remark about not belonging to a club that would have him as a member. I feel if I'm good at, well it can't be all that hard to begin with. But then maybe it is that I still elevate other skills above my domestic skills. I am not saying I don't feel pride in cooking a good meal or knitting a pretty sweater - I certainly do. But it's a different pride. It's not like the pride I feel for my academic and intellectual accomplishments.
Right there, that's telling. "intellectual accomplishments". But doesn't it take brains to cook and sew and clean and knit? Last fall PBS ran The Bletchley Circle about the lives of women in post war Britain who just happened to have been code breakers at Bletchley Park. Clearly the writers knew what they were doing when they made one of the women a knitter. What is a knitting pattern but a code to be cracked?
Still, I don't want knitting or cooking to be my legacy. So am I holding onto outdated notions about women and men? Probably. Am I not as evolved a human as I like to think? Unfortunately the answer is probably "yes". But maybe part of it is learning to knit and cook, for all the failures and frustrations, came much easier than those "intellectual accomplishments" I mentioned earlier. Aren't we proudest of what comes hardest? I am anyway.
I need to stop this. Stop diminishing my accomplishments - no matter what sphere they reside in. It's insulting to others for me to say something is easy when it truly isn't. It's hurtful to them and denies the reality that I've spent years of my life learning to knit, sew, clean, and cook. It perpetuates the myth (mentioned in the article) that women should just know these things and that these skills are somehow less difficult or valuable because they are traditionally thought of as feminine.
And no, I can't "starch and iron two dozen shirts 'fore you can count from one to nine." but that doesn't mean I'm not a woman. I may still have to live in a world with unrealistic expectations about what a woman is supposed to be but I can also choose not to be a participant in the continuation of that culture.
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