What They're Saying #2

Me ages ago pretending to be Nancy Drew.  Remove the gloves and hat and this is pretty much my favorite work outfit: Skirt, blouse, and cardigan

I work with kids.  While I do tend to "tone it down" for work I don't exactly wear khakis and polo shirts.  Kids notice.  Kids comment.

 I tend to get a lot of comparisons with cartoon characters.   I've gotten Velma from Scooby Doo, Minnie Mouse, and Betty Boop.  I've also been told I look "like a doll."  None of these comparisons or remarks have bothered me.  The boy who said that I looked like Velma was worried I might be hurt by the remark but he did mean nicely and I assured him I was fine.

This skirt is a big hit with students and teachers.

One that cracks me up comes up when I'm dressed '40s.  "You like wearing old school things miss,  like from the '80s right?"  I actually got that once from a waitress.  To be fair, she was probably born long after the 1980s.  Most of the time I just laugh and smile.  Though sometimes I say that what I am wearing is more '40s than '80s but I understand the confusion as '40s styles came back in the '80s.

Sometimes it's intentionally rude, trying to get a rise out of me.  "Why do you always wear those ugly old style shoes?"  My general response to those comments are "Because I'm awesome like that."

Ugly old style shoes

My rolls get "How do you do that with your hair?"  a lot.  From adults and kids.  My favorite was when a kid was asking me about them and what they are called.  I told her they were "Victory rolls" and she said she was going to call them "Cinnamon Rolls."  After that she would tell me my "Cinnamon Rolls" look good today and I would tell her she was making me hungry.

Crappy bathroom selfie from this week.  It was tropical day at work.

My pants also get a lot of comment.  Not so much the style but the placement of the zipper.  On the pants where the zipper is hidden in the pocket I get asked where the zipper is.  On pants with the zip up the back I get asked why I have a zipper on the back of my pants.  "Why to get them off and on, of course."

Probably the most popular things are not the vintage but the nerdy - items like my raygun and Pow! earring, my Captain America shield necklace, and my Doctor Who belt.  Because it's not strange or different - its something they know and get.  Just this week I showed a picture of myself in the TARDIS to a boy a work with.  His face lit up.  I love that. 

And let me tell you, bleach out a streak in your hair and adults and kids will say more than you could ever hope to record.  All good though.

I just don't want to end up on Hoarders

Some of my spring/summer sweaters

I have this desire to somehow reduce my wardrobe to the bare minimum.  Just a few pieces that encompass my style and all co-ordinate with one another.  Except that is never realistically going to happen.

Most of the time my style oscillates between the late '30s and '40s (wide legged trousers, simple cotton and rayon dresses, cardigans/sweaters, stockings) and a sort of beatnik/bohemian look (capris, peasant blouses, brightly colored skirts, lots of black, sweaters, and huge jewelry) and maybe if that's where my style always lived I could manage such a thing.  Except some days I feel like a flapper or a sixties minidress, or rockabilly, or maybe a little cabaret.  And that doesn't even cover cosplays.  I'm never going to build some ideal minimalist wardrobe.  Or if I do it's going to be buried among beaded skirts, feather boas, and Han Solo's vest.

Some of my earrings

Of course the irony here is most women from the eras I favor probably didn't have anywhere near half the clothes I own.  I try to think about that every time I have the urge to buy something new.  I also try to mend things before I go tossing them and unravel sweaters I don't wear anymore and knit new ones that I will wear.  But that doesn't always feel like enough.

More Jewelry, this is JUST necklaces and rings

I don't want to be swallowed whole by my wardrobe and accessories but I also don't want to wake up and be without the pieces I need to dress the way I feel on any particular day. 

I'm not whining here, just thinking out loud. I am also not completely well yet so I blame all grammatical errors and fuzzy logic on that.

On break

I've had a bit of a week and am sick so I'm skipping out today.  Enjoy this (or not if you don't like Simon & Garfunkel):

You know I can starch and iron two dozen shirts 'fore you can count from one to nine.

In the latest issue of Bitch magazine is the article "What Happened to Home Economics? : The Rise and Fall of a Contested Discipline" by Christen McCurdy.  After reading it I started thinking about my own perceptions about such classes and the skills they teach.

I never took any class called "Home Economics" or anything that taught me domestic skills of any kind.  I'm certain these kinds of classes were offered but despite my interest in the skills they would have taught I never even considered taking such a class.

In my younger days I am certain I was guilty of spouting some narrow minded and derisive remarks about Home EC.  At the time I had the desire to move myself as far away from the sphere of wife and mother as possible.  I didn't know for certain what I wanted to be but I knew I wasn't going to marry, have kids, and keep house.  Not for me.

It would be a funny story to conclude with "I am now a happy wife and mother of three".  Except I'm not but I have changed a lot since then.  I realized my negative attitudes towards traditionally feminine roles and skills were doing no one, male or female, any favors.  It was narrow minded of me to be so negative towards something simply because I didn't think it was for me.  It also wasn't in the least feminist.  Parenting is one of the toughest jobs out there and I have great respect for those who show up and try.  Running a house is no less difficult than running a business and I understand that now.  I certainly would never make snarky remarks about a woman or man choosing family over career.

And yet . . .

While I would never make fun of or mock others' domestic skills I often downplay or joke about my own.  It might have to do with the societal pressure ( which comes down much harder on women) to remain humble.  I also may be a version of Groucho Marx's remark about not belonging to a club that would have him as a member.  I feel if I'm good at, well it can't be all that hard to begin with.  But then maybe it is that I still elevate other skills above my domestic skills.  I am not saying I don't feel pride in cooking a good meal or knitting a pretty sweater  - I certainly do.  But it's a different pride.  It's not like the pride I feel for my academic and intellectual accomplishments.

Right there, that's telling.  "intellectual accomplishments".  But doesn't it take brains to cook and sew and clean and knit?  Last fall PBS ran The Bletchley Circle about the lives of women in post war Britain who just happened to have been code breakers at Bletchley Park.  Clearly the writers knew what they were doing when they made one of the women a knitter.  What is a knitting pattern but a code to be cracked?

Still, I don't want knitting or cooking to be my legacy.  So am I holding onto outdated notions about women and men?  Probably.  Am I not as evolved a human as I like to think?  Unfortunately the answer is probably "yes".  But maybe part of it is learning to knit and cook, for all the failures and frustrations, came much easier than those "intellectual accomplishments" I mentioned earlier.  Aren't we proudest of what comes hardest?  I am anyway.

I need to stop this.  Stop diminishing my accomplishments - no matter what sphere they reside in.   It's insulting to others for me to say something is easy when it truly isn't.  It's hurtful to them and denies the reality that I've spent years of my life learning to knit, sew, clean, and cook.  It perpetuates the myth (mentioned in the article) that women should just know these things and that these skills are somehow less difficult or valuable because they are traditionally thought of as feminine.

And no, I can't "starch and iron two dozen shirts 'fore you can count from one to nine."  but that doesn't mean I'm not a woman.   I may still have to live in a world with unrealistic expectations about what a woman is supposed to be but I can also choose not to be a participant in the continuation of that culture.

Knitting

Knitting is something I learned the basics of from my mom when I was six or seven.  For years I'd do it for a bit and then lose interest.  I only knew the knit stitch and how to cast on and bind off so that was probably part of it.  Post college it took me three and a half months to find a job ( miracle, I know) and in between the job hunt I had some time on my hands and I decided it was time to learn to purl.  That was my downfall.

One of the reasons I love knitting is one of the reasons I love dressing like it's 1938 (or '28 0r '48, etc . . .).   It's a way of connecting with and better understanding the past.  Not just in a "people used to knit more" way but in a personal way.  I never met my paternal grandmother.   In fact I think I've only seen pictures of her once - though I am told I look like her.  I do know some about her, including the fact she was a master seamstress and an excellent knitter.  I can't ever get to know her personally but I like the idea that the simple act of putting one loop of yarn through another is something else that we share.

I just finished Dinah's Lacy Jumper from A Stitch in Time Vol. 2.  There are only six other projects on Ravelry which surprises me since it's a rather cute sweater and the lace pattern is pretty but not complicated. Right now it doesn't have button or button hole, but I may change my mind later.